My trusty sidekick, Chester 💜

I mentioned my trusty little sidekick Chester in my intro post, so I thought I'd make a introduction post for him as well and what led us choosing him. Ever since a teenager/early "adult", I've wanted to get a corgi. I think it was one of those meme posts that sparked it, it was Corgis drawn as a different superheroes and a Thorgi spoke to me, I was sold. When it was time for my partner and I to actually sit down and choose a breed, I had a list of familiar breeds for us (and what family members/friends had) and what we could take care of within the terms of my health with hEDS. We narrowed it down to, I think, to like five then down to two, a Golden retriever and a Corgi (especially a Welsh Cardigan as we wanted our dog to have a tail). Eventually my Instagram post & reel campaign about Corgis won, spoiler alert am I right :D

Now that we had a breed selected, it was time for me to start looking at the breeders. I wanted to be responsible dog owner and make sure I picked a good breeder.

And I did find few that seemed nice and good, so I kept looking when they would have puppies or if they had already etc.

In summer 2022 my Mother-in-Law passed away, she was diagnosed with breast cancer few years prior but it was still very sudden. Not long after I found out that one of the breeders I was watching had puppies, now normally I would have passed them on, but the puppies happened to share the same birthday as my Mother-in-Law.

So I looked into them. The second sign was that all the puppies were named after World of Warcraft characters (Chester is named after one of the Paladins at Light's Hope Chapel in Eastern Plaguelands). For those who don't know, my partner and I met through World of Warcraft. After discussing we decided that both signs meant that it was time for us to get a puppy. My partner wanted a girl dog as he's more used to them and his previous family dogs were both girls too, for me I wanted a boy but ultimately girl puppy wasn't a deal breaker. I emailed the breeder and introduced us, sadly she didn't have any girls left, but she had three boys still looking for home, one red (the usual colouring when you think of a corgi) and two Brindle. It was difficult decision, we asked the family and our friends which one they thought was the cutest (I mean they were all so adorable and I would have picked all of them if we'd have the money😁). Eventually, and this is little funny, my partner wanted the red boy and I wanted the other Brindle, and no one picked Chester. We then started feeling bad for Chester and decided that with his unique markings he would have be ours, if we still were in a position to choose.

Few weeks after the puppies were old enough that we could go and meet them. It was like Chester knew that we had picked him, almost the whole time we were there he slept next to my leg (he still does this to this day😍). We left downpayment and went home and started waiting for the day we could bring him home! 💜

I felt like I was ready for a puppy, I had read and studied so much but oh boy was I still so unprepared :D Being AuDHD, change and things not going how I planned is hard, so hard. And everyone who's ever had or even met a puppy knows that life with a puppy is all change all the time.

It was really difficult for me to adjust, and then especially the time when we both got Covid like a week after bringing Chester home. I also remember crying in the bathroom or in my partner's room because I was so tired and Chester being an energetic puppy he was, had slight difficulties to calm down.

No one prepares you for the puppy time, they say that have a schedule and be prepared for teething etc. No one remembers to tell you about the "puppy's crazy hours" or how you sleep in few hour cycles because you want to keep teaching the puppy to be house trained. It's pretty much like having a new born human baby, they eat, sleep, poop on repeat.

But eventually we fell in to a working schedule, turned out Chester liked routine and schedules as much as me so we became a team. Even from the start Chester was very independent, I could be watching TV and he'd be asleep in my room or if I was by the PC he'd be asleep in his bed in the livingroom. We didn't have any problems with him being alone and he was house trained really early on, only few accidents here and there which were mostly our fault because we wouldn't notice his signs that he'd want to go out.

Chester has always been very shy and reserved, even as a puppy it took him few meet-ups even with family members to be comfortable with them. Indoors with our other family dogs it was easier for him, but it still took time. We thought it was because of our Covid right after he arrived so we couldn't properly socialize him and then later on during the "ghost age" aka the late puppy age and early teenage. I've never met or had a dog that was nervous and anxious of new things and people, so all this was new to me.

Back then I was still reading of the hurtful tips like "Oh just take your puppy to the city and make it meet people, it will be fine and they will get used to it" or "You need to show who is the boss and don't let them be the boss of you" or "This or that and those behaviours are your dog trying to boss you and trying to be the Alpha". When in fact; no he wasn't trying to be the Alpha, or he wasn't trying to boss me around and yes in he did not get used to it/that/them. Now that I think back, I feel so sorry for Chester that I couldn't be there for him properly.

When we started our puppy course, that was the best thing that happened to us. We found an amazing trainer who after the course contacted me saying that she was studying to become a dog psychologist and if we're ok, she would like us to be one of her projects, as she had to work with a dog who is scared.

Of course we said yes, one of the reasons being that Chester already knew her and really liked her. After we started the private training meetings I started noticing the difference in Chester, he wasn't as reactive to the enviroment and it felt he was more confident. Ever since that I've kept reading and actually educating myself to be able to read dogs and their body language and behaviour and the positive reinforcement training.

The change didn't happen in one night and any trainer who says to you that "This thing will fix your dog in one meeting" is full of bullshit. For Chester it did take a long time, but we had a good timing with our training too. He had all his teenage hormones messing up his already anxious brain, so with the new skills I had I was able to be there for him and actually advocating for him in situations that were difficult for him.

Nowdays I always think of him first, "Does he need to be in this situation? / Do we really need to pass all these people or do we just turn around? / Is it beneficial for him to come with me to place X? / Am I bringing him with me for him, or for myself?". I also needed to accept the fact that maybe he won't be the kind of dog who sits with me in a cafe in the city or meets up with all my friends.

I would say training with an anxious/fearful dog is 75% about learning to change your own behaviour and your own predjudices about dog-training.

Today Chester is a different dog, there are days I almost don't recognise him and then of course there are bad days. Yes, even Dogs have those. He's gotten used to our neighbours and 7/10 times he doesn't bark at them when they're outside, he's even used to being outside on his own and just chilling. He's come such a long way and I wouldn't change a thing. I've learned so much about myself on this journey with him, I have also learned to be more patient and accept change. There is this awful cliché that you don't pick the dog you want, you will get the dog you need and with us, it's 100% true. I don't think "all things dogs" wouldn't be one of my main hyperfocuses if I'd had a dog that is "easy".

There is so much I want to write about this topic because I don't think it's talked about enough. The Information out there today, is already so much better than it was just two years ago for example, but it still feels it's not enough. There are breeds that are getting cancelled just because the humans responsible for them are uneducated about their dogs' needs.

This ended up being so much longer than I initially thought, but when I started writing everything just poured out. But as I said, this topic is going to be one of the ongoing theme for me to write about, I will be tagging it as Digital Paw Print and eventually it will have it's own side page where I gather all the posts.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading! 💜